For many folks, when success is right in front of them, they self-sabotage rather than risk losing and go on to plan B.
At the risk of being accused of stereotyping, I will tell make some broad observations about many of the folks (in my world) who fail.
- When things get tough, there always seem to be family in NYC, or Atlanta where they can (and very often do) disappear to regroup and start over.
- There is very often a social services safety net very close by.
- There is a history of an off the books freelance style of working to get by.
- Their resumes are flat. In other words, there is zero career advancement
One story
Tyrone came to me with a resume that had a small amount of off the books experience doing electrical work, mostly for the Arab community here in Buffalo. He told me how badly he wanted to be a legitimate Electrician. So we found him a job doing just that. He was working for a very prominent local electrician has a helper. He was learning the trade. The guys on the crew liked him.
But then winter came, and work slowed as it often does in Buffalo. One by one, as other contract to hire guys messed up they were let go, but Tyrone kept his job. He got past Christmas, past New Years. He wanted extra money so I gave him a job cleaning our offices, he was doing great! Very soon his contract would be up and he would convert onto their payroll as full time. I called him aside one day and told him how so many others tend to fail at just about this time, how I was proud of him, and how he should remain diligent because the finish line was in sight and he was going to win.
Four days later he missed work.
The company gave him a pass because they believed in him. I yelled at him and implored him not to miss this once in a lifetime opportunity. He told me, “It’s okay, because if I lose this job I got a call the other day from a company who wants me to clean their offices”.
The next day he abandoned his job as a skilled tradesmen to apparently go be a janitor.
I see what happened. I knew in advance that it was going to. I’ve seen it dozens of times. The fear of failing becomes so great that a person reverts to plan B because… well I don’t actually know why. This podcast tries to shed some light on it.